| Day 2 No Smoking |
[19 Oct 2009|11:47am] |
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i likea da kitties |
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I love the weather today
also, the past two days were great but i was stuck in a kitchen for the whole time.
kept walking outside during my shift and longing for my day off. and it has come.
ive been having dreams more frequently,
perhaps because i traded out my couch and bought a BED.
they are usually scary dreams or really happy dreams that make me feel so good i wanna cry in my sleep (sort of hard to explain without being more specific/sounding dumb)
i really like the outline i wrote for my speech.
i think it will make for a good presentation. all i need now is a powerpoint slideshow for it and a good conclusion.
its important to pick a topic you really like.
I wrote it on DIY (do it yourself)
basically how it helps a person do things they never thought they were capable of doing.
and it gets them thinking for themselves.
took me thirty minuites to figure out how to work that 4-track recorder
by the time i did, i didnt feel like recording anymore.
but ill get around to it tonight i reckon.
paycheck coming so soon....
need money....now
hopefully i will get accepted in this study
i was thinking how popular livejournal used to be like, in high school
it seems like everybody just had more to share
but its probably cuz livejournal is one of those things that has its heyday and then just lingers.
im gonna get out of bed now
ahhh, beds rule.
i dont wanna get out of it.
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| what u gonna do, dre? kick it. and so on... |
[28 Aug 2009|01:08pm] |
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NWA- Greatest Hits |
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I feel like this semester will be a breath of fresh air for me. Ive been trying to improve my life because if im happy about myself then (hopefully) i can begin to hang out with people and not have to worry about anxiety. I know that there will always be loose ends, and sometimes i spend all my time trying to tie them all up. But i have found this endevor to be fruitless. I mess things up more by letting someone down or something, rather than just saying/doing what needs to be said/done- and leaving it at that. I havent felt like myself for a long time Im realizing. But loose ends will always be there, no way around it. The answer is always hanging in front of your face. its either you do, you don't. And I DO care, but I dont think im ready to take on these situations until i exercise some inner demons.
I just wish things could go back to normal until im ready to deal with everything.
on another note, my tummy still hurts (which means almost 24 hours of sharp stomach pain)
Woke up a lot last night, but noticed around 8 AM it started feeling better. Now it only hurts when i stand up which leads me to belive its muscle pain. (not just some ulcer or something)
Today I plan on watching the new Demitri Martin movie Taking Woodstock. But first, homework!
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[08 May 2009|11:37am] |
I was reading my older posts and noticed I became more cynical in 2007/late 06.
I wonder why that is. What in the world could have possibly happened that made me so angry for a whole year?
And in 2008 I only have about 5 posts which either dont make sense/are really deadpan.
Id like to start using this again, so maybe Ill make a new username or something.
Of course, Ill post the new journal on this one before I start using it.
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[16 Apr 2009|11:51pm] |
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Today I watched a superhouse rehersal with ray on drums.
I was told the night before to show up so we could run through some new songs. at least I was there to give ray small morsels of advice.
Spencer Davenport had a real slamming barbeque set up around 6:30 (rack of ribs, sausage, and kabobs) plus I think I ate half of that salsa...thanks Mr. Dieter.
came home to nap (cuz thats what u do after a slammin bbq) and ended up sleeping for 3 hours.
I had the craziest dream, it had everything.
There were people making snakes bite the tails of other snakes to make big scary snake ropes.
I ended up like a refugee on the run.
It started out with me, Chris Goodson, Charlie, and some other people making our way to a safehouse amongst what seemed to be the outbreak of some kind of virus/end of the world/zombie outbreak. so we get there but no one gives us the time of day even, so me and chris go up on the roof; and as we r sitting up there an airplane comes crashing down spinning and fire- the works. I think Im alright but Chris points out that my heel has split open (which would have horribly disadvantaged me in reality, but comon- Im the good guy). anyway, I hobble downstairs and start getting this wierd vibe. Either I am the only one who thinks something wierd is happening, or Im the only one left that can still think straight)
so im behind the safehouse pondering this, making snake ropes, when this mutated man with eyes that roll about in his face grabs my shoulders. he yells at me to get the fuck out of here, and I deduce that the people that own the safehouse are some crazy scientist folk. so I book it. some lady and her nice dog agree to drive me far far away.
anyway, so it sort of scared the heck out of me... snakes r freaky
luv, ben
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[10 Apr 2008|08:03pm] |
you can try to love something
or you can't help it
but the hardest one of all
is trying not to.
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| THIS IS THE LIFE AND THE LIFE WILL NOT END |
[20 Jan 2008|02:51am] |
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RJD2- Deadringer |
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******************************
money money money money money
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much of what defines a person is what they do- but also what they do not do. or worse, what they fail at doing
but i believe the individual craves a society, at least to see what a pointless existance of trends and trades they exist in. it helps show how different i am in comparison as well
i think i can have a greater impact on another person more than i can on myself. that sort of motivates me.
what does it matter to me if i dont matter? i can do what i want
if you think i dont matter, its most likely because of something i didnt do or failed at doing.
**********************************************
I thought you had an excuse to be on the floor
***********************************************
I was planning a trip to Denton but it got postponed due to me getting a job and having to work.
My new job is at Alamo Drafthouse on lake creek pkwy, and i love it so far.
this guy named Red (a cook) always plays Architecture in Helsinki- Places Like This in the kitchen. I get a free meal per shift too.
Other than that, im getting all 5 seasons of the X-Men tv show to watch late at night after I get off.
OH, new thing for me- im listening Aesop Rock and really enjoying it. I got None Shall Pass after Matt Squires showed me the song 39 Thieves. Coffee is really good too
That reminds me, I started drinking coffee
I think that it helps me wake up but maybe its just in my head.
Until i get a second drumset to keep at home im gonna play keyboard in my free time. its just been in my closet and its quite a shame. my dad is willing to pay me to teach him to play bongos too.
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[10 Jan 2008|05:32pm] |
On facebook's flixster movie quizzes, the answer is Will Smith.
It's always right
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| badda bing bang boom |
[06 Dec 2007|04:38pm] |
id better pick it up
im gonna read some dictionaries
for fun, take a ride.
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[07 Nov 2007|09:55pm] |
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if I'm gonna post this, id better do it quick
cuz theres nothing like the rush i get
from it slipping in at the last minute.
i try to be careful of what i say
so everybody's happy
and from my mind there are little hints
like reassurance that
I'm being interpreted justly.
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| woke up too late |
[10 Sep 2007|02:19pm] |
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ghostland |
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oh im in trouble this time guys. actually i dont give a shit
i love dairy queen but i promised myself i would never work there (or mcdonalds)
even in middle school when i thought DQ was such a dirty place to work.
if you didnt know, i got hired at DQ but fuck that-
now i know that i was right, its pretty dirty there
but im still going to eat there cuz hungerbusters r00l
im never going to eat another DQ blizzard ever again though, experiencing hours of blizzard making day in and day out had an effect on me.
im gonna go to kerby today, maybe become a host
greg and phil are trying to work there too.
and another thing, i need to start keeping up with shit in my 07-08 day planner.
that would be a smart thing to do. but anyway, im still hetero, superhouse rocks, and i still think about girls too much for my own good.
-ben
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| Honey! I'm hoooome |
[24 Aug 2007|11:21pm] |
this is me doubting myself:
i feel so indifferent about everything that i do
to the extent that i dont even
laugh at what i used to and
food doesnt nourish anymore
i know it sounds crazy, which shows me
theres hope.
this is me on a day to day basis:
im a nomad
offering myself
talents and my belongings to
anyone who desires them
i just wish i had someone to give everything to.
would you like a piece of gum?
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| I tried, but I can't tonight |
[30 Jul 2007|02:57am] |
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tomorrow i start at red robin at nine in the morning, so i should go to sleep
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| what is up with me |
[17 Apr 2007|02:39am] |
april 28th- playing a show with superhouse
june 13th- playing a show with superhouse AND little triggers (also playing that night will be Dr.Zoom!)
june 14th- superhouse
june 30th- superhouse in Alice, Texas
im starting rehersals with the Burywood Band and have been recording superhouse songs this past week.
its a ton of fun- but its not worth anything without an audience!
april 28th is an important gig for superhouse, too. come to the red eyed fly at 8 30 and get jiggy with it!
do it for me?
-love, ben (sparkles) tyler humphreysssssss
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[08 Apr 2007|04:14pm] |
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You are in a creative phase where your accomplishments can increase your self-esteem, even if today is a day of reconnecting with family. Taking time for relaxation now is good for your soul. The real work, though, is happening on the innerside, where you can continue to make progress by seeking practical solutions to problems that continue to plague you.
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| i tried to be normal |
[05 Apr 2007|12:45am] |
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who quietly draws the real me out? understand that i am very self-satisfied; therefore i might not always be the best communicator. You need me, someone that loves to have fun.
a girl who can be goofy but also has the capability of concentrating on a great classic film... or something like that. A creative and confident girl, and i know where to find her.
it isnt clear, so why is it important?
if you didnt hear by now- goddammit i need the antidote!
i think if i could meet me, i would like me. doesnt mean that being him is any easier.
and its better than before, when i would have kicked my own ass in 9th grade.
now i have experiences (since you) which are more wheighty than knowladge (still you) because
living the way people discover is better than
reading the way my grandparents took over.
where do the deleted words go? they were symbols once, and they carried my breath until i decided that no one would understand.
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[01 Apr 2007|11:26pm] |
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ideas will entice and excite you. professional design was not my message and so I don’t remember what I said! Tell Her we have the end of should, would, and could for convenience− function.I vote snowglobe!!On the other hand, it is notinvincible.
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[01 Apr 2007|01:34pm] |
+0*-
./+
fri
endz
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*-0*-w*-hy, do we have to yel*-l
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| 44 |
[22 Mar 2007|12:13am] |
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things looking up, in nearly every category.
few dates,
march 31st- superhouse at the red eyed fly
april 16th and 17th- superhouse recording
havent been doing mush school, i feel bad
but id rather have more time to do other things
i am getting pretty good at tetris
i have to give time for a job too
sxsw was real fun, and superhouse was offered
a 600 dollar paying gig, but 'hes gonna call us'
something feels off-key, and i dont know what it is
i cant put my finger on it
but its been bothersome and i dont know what to do about it
maybe i just need to get a job
maybe ill move out
i need a girlfriend
somehow swinging seems more suited for me though.
and so, im glad i know why i do some of the tings i do.
so long as i know what happend
but when shit happens that changes you
without unerstanding what went on
i guess that would drive me nuts.
1111
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| morning. morning, morning. birds and showering sunlight. |
[01 Mar 2007|11:44am] |
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who's johnny/daft punk/clap your hands... |
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i dont like dealing with school this semester. i just need more time to do homework, but maybe if i were home at all during the day i would actually do it.
but maybe friday i can do some catch up or something. i dont have school friday.
its sort of my saturday, and ill most likely get swept away doing something else.
at least i hope so. i love to be kept busy.
and, i had this weird reaction to a virus a few days ago where i had itchy spots all over my arms and legs some. this was reminicent of my days with mononucleosis [mono] [sp..]
but it wasnt that, all that it was was a strange aftershock raction my body had after i recovered from the virus.
this morning i woke up, and they are all cleared up.
i dont feel contagious anymore and im not afraid of touching people anymore.
more importantly, i dont think people are freaked out by me anymore- cuz even i thought i looked sickly.
i have episodes 1-8 of heroes from phil aulie, but i still need to copy it.
then i can get the rest.
for the past two weeks- i have been in a active-analitical mood. where i have been so busy doing everything that i need to so that when bad things happen- i dont have time to think about it.
if i dont think about the bad things, they dont manifest into bigger things in my mind- they stay small. and by the end of the week, they leave me.
pacientia. style. lust.
virtue.
im glad i quit my job, but my parents hated it.
i thought maybe i would regret it later, but i dont.
i wonder if school could be the same way.
though, since i quit- i can never work at heb again.
if i drop out, i can go later. better yet, i take smaller hours.
unless i have nothing else to do but work and go to school.
but jesus, what of my virtus- my values...
i would hate myself for a while.
read the sophist.
brush your teeth.
to grades.
fall in love.
hate two lanes.
one batman.
underneath the tip.
make it of montreal.
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